Category Archives: Memoirs & Musings

Who Will Go for Jesus?

When Did We Become Passive?

Father, since when and why have we become so passive?! Have we been like this all this time?

At the beginning of this ministry, I asked long-time ministry leaders and volunteers to share their salvation testimony. Having known them and served alongside them for a decade, I was excited and confident that they would be more than eager to grab the opportunity to share their story beyond their spheres of influence.

Their response was the exact opposite. At first, I was disappointed but as I think about it, I get more confused.

We are part of a local church where the Bible is faithfully preached. We were taught about the Biblical basis and the importance of evangelism and missions, there are a lot of equipping classes and training about evangelism and missions, there are numerous ministries and church activities that allow us to apply what we’ve learned apart from sharing the Gospel and witnessing to our spheres of influence at home, school or work.

I was in a ministry which multiplied from one Bible study group to about a dozen, and it was all because of building relationships and witnessing to friends in the workplace.

So I do not understand where their response is coming from. It’s not that they are unwilling, they’re just busy. Unavailable.

Unavailability is one of our challenges in encouraging others to take part in the different tasks in the ministry or in helping meet the needs of others in the church.

So how come they responded the same way? Do they realize it or are they unaware? Is the task too demanding? Is it because of the unresolved misunderstanding?

Writing one’s salvation testimony is just a one time work, not a lifetime commitment. And this is the testimony we had written and had shared before, I suppose, and we’re commanded and taught to share with others. So I really don’t know what’s the challenge.

After two months of asking people and following up on them, the Lord reminded me of a Bible verse so I moved on and asked Christian friends from other churches instead.

I was surprised they were more than willing and excited to do it. This was God’s affirmation that whatever work done for Him is His work. He planned the content, provides resources, and brings people to contribute. He has firmly and faithfully shown, week after week, that He is in control and will provide for every content He wants written or shared.

An affirmation and reminder that no one is indispensable in God’s work. In the absence, unwillingness or unavailability of one, the Lord provides another. He will never leave Himself without a witness. Jesus said even the stones would cry out if people keep quiet. And the whole creation speaks of His glory.

Why Have We Become Apathetic?

In August, someone sent a personal testimony that said: While at Bible school, I heard about people around the world really wanting to get to know God but there weren’t enough Christians willing to go.

I’m aware that there is a greater need in other parts of the world, that very few commits to serve as a cross-cultural missionary, and Christians do not share the Gospel more than we ought to. At the same time, I thought most “committed Christians” are ready, willing and available especially for the Gospel, and my experience with believers in my local church is an isolated case.

This statement coming from someone I know who lived on the other side of the world reflects what I have seen this year in this side of our world with regard to witnessing in our Judea and Samaria. This awoke me to the reality of how Christians respond to the Great Commission.

I thought the greater need for the Gospel in other parts of the world was mainly because of their resistance to the Gospel but now I understand it is because very few believers have the heart for the world. But how can we see the need of the ends of the world when we are passive even to the needs of our Judea and Samaria?

It made Jesus’ command in Matthew 9:38 and Luke 10:2 so true, real, relevant, imperative, urgent, living and active — to beg for laborers to be thrown into the harvest field!

Do a lot of Christians know not only the command but also it’s relevance and the state of the world? And if we are aware, what are we doing about it? Now I understand why missions-minded people are at times frustrated.

Indeed, a Christ-centered theology is a missionary theology.

How, why, and since when did we become so apathetic? Is it because of lack of awareness or lack of heart or both? Do our hearts break what breaks Yours?

How can we be so consumed of our own lives? How can we think only of our own selves, family, career, welfare, and advancement? Sometimes we even take pride of our ministries and programs in the church when we can’t even intentionally and effectively reach out to our Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria and have forgotten that You also told us to go to the ends of the earth. Jesus, You are the God of the whole world not just of our family and our city!

Who Will Go for Jesus?

Looking back at the pain that happened in the recent years, I now find the reasons for my tears seem so petty compared to the greater need of a quarter of the world population who have yet to hear Jesus’ name for the first time, and the sacrifice and persecution that a handful of missionaries and believers endure for the sake of the Gospel.

If there’s very few who are willing, available, see the need, have the heart, and committed to finishing the Great Commission, then who would do the remaining and still extensive task? Who would go for You, Lord?

Here I am, send me! I want to go, Father, please I beg You to throw me into the harvest! I want to go to a people where no one has heard Jesus’ name, where the Gospel is most needed. I want to share in the suffering of a handful of believers who sacrifice their whole life for the sake of the Gospel. Millions of people have been waiting for 2,000 years. How much longer do they have to wait?! Thousands die every hour, there’s no time to waste. The remaining task is still so immense, it cannot be done by only a handful! Throw workers into these unengaged unreached people groups, Father. Throw me!

Have mercy, Father. Have mercy on these people who have yet to hear Your Gospel. Forgive us, Your people, for being apathetic, selfish, and self-centered. Change our hearts, open our eyes to see the great need, enable us to respond the way Jesus responded to our need — with love and compassion for the lost, and remind us that His sacrifice is not exclusive to our family, friends, and community but for the whole world.

Facing A Task Unfinished | Keith & Kristyn Getty

Facing a task unfinished
That drives us to our knees
A need that, undiminished
Rebukes our slothful ease
We, who rejoice to know Thee
Renew before Thy throne
The solemn pledge we owe Thee
To go and make Thee known

Where other lords beside Thee
Hold their unhindered sway
Where forces that defied Thee
Defy Thee still today
With none to heed their crying
For life, and love, and light
Unnumbered souls are dying
And pass into the night

We go to all the world
With kingdom hope unfurled
No other name has power to save
But Jesus Christ the Lord

We bear the torch that flaming
Fell from the hands of those
Who gave their lives proclaiming
That Jesus died and rose
Ours is the same commission
The same glad message ours
Fired by the same ambition
To Thee we yield our powers

We go to all the world
With kingdom hope unfurled
No other name has power to save
But Jesus Christ the Lord

O Father who sustained them
O Spirit who inspired
Saviour, whose love constrained them
To toil with zeal untired
From cowardice defend us
From lethargy awake!
Forth on Thine errands send us
To labour for Thy sake

We go to all the world
With kingdom hope unfurled
No other name has power to save
But Jesus Christ The Lord

We go to all the world
His kingdom hope unfurled
No other name has power to save
But Jesus Christ The Lord

Request for Constant Prayer

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Ephesians 6:10- 20

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

While I am aware that we are in a spiritual battle, I used to think that the battle is only about our sinful nature. Then in January 2019, I read this article that says:

When God Moves, Satan Responds

The consistent pattern throughout the Bible is that every significant move of God is preceded by a season of increasingly difficult, discouraging opposition. And if we take Ephesians 6, Daniel 10, and other warfare texts seriously, we can understand why: God is invading what Satan considers his territory. God’s kingdom is breaking through the lines of the domain of darkness (Colossians 1:13).

If we are not encountering opposition, it’s likely we are not attacking a strategic location. But if we are, we are on to something. Where the enemy is fortifying his forces is where we must focus our assault.

And where the enemy is fortified, there is going to be a fierce fight if we are going to achieve a breakthrough. We are going to receive volleys of flaming darts (Ephesians 6:16). We are going to be attacked on the rear. There will be spies in the camp. There will be jeering and intimidation and accusations. There will be efforts to destroy our morale and determination.

A Call for Breakthrough Determination

So this is a call for holy determination. Keep praying and don’t lose heart (Luke 18:1). Just like in any large-scale war, there are many battles. Some breakthroughs are achieved relatively quickly; others require long, persevering endurance. But either way, breakthroughs require a determination to keep up the assault.

Usually breakthroughs are not achieved by prayer alone — there are works to be done and courage to be exercised. But real spiritual breakthroughs are not achieved at all without prayer. Concentrated, specific, persistent, prevailing prayer, often engaged in by two or more (Matthew 18:19), is needed to weaken our spiritual opposition. And fasting is a wonderful help. “Fasting tests where the heart is. And when it reveals that the heart is with God and not the world, a mighty blow is struck against Satan” (A Hunger for God).

So if you’re praying for a breakthrough and not seeing it, and in fact experiencing more temptations to discouragement, frustration, weariness, doubt, and cynicism than before, do not give up. Increasingly intense fighting always precedes strategic breakthroughs. Strategic ground is not yielded easily. You’re up against more than you know. But “he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). He has overcome the world (John 16:33) and he will give you justice (Luke 18:8).

Don’t lose heart. Grow determined. There’s a breakthrough ahead.

Source: “Praying for a Breakthrough” by Jon Bloom. Desiring God.

It was because of this article and a prayer that the Lord placed in my mouth that made me understand everything I have been going through since 2017 is because of the war I am waging — proclaiming the Gospel.

The Lord is doing something great; there’s an incredible story I had only been sharing with my family and friends but the Lord wants me to share it to the whole world through different media platforms. And He promised an abundant harvest. This promise is actually more unimaginable for me than the story I’m about to share. And it is the only goal I’m looking at, it’s what fuels me in everything I’m doing now — God’s promise of an abundant harvest.

The war is fierce; everything came unexpectedly for me and once it’s revealed it may shock everyone. Although it’s nothing compared to what the apostles and the first-century church experienced or even what Christ went through. Every day the Lord upholds and encourages me. Yesterday He told me what Paul and other apostles went through to encourage me from their example, a lot of believers experienced greater sufferings than I have, and to teach me how to respond, which I find more difficult than persevering:

We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. We have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world—right up to this moment. (1 Corinthians 4:10-13)

I also read a post on Facebook about last Sunday’s sermon where our senior pastor was tagged: Don’t Shut Up! (pertaining to the proclamation of the Gospel). I decided to attend the Tagalog service with my mom hoping she’d no longer sleep during the sermon and I barely got anything. 😭 But this short encouragement from the English service filled me. 😁 And I’m excited to watch it online. It’s exactly what I need in moments when professing Christians are hounding me to stop what I’m doing without realizing it meant stop sharing the Gospel! It’s obvious where that came from.

It’s only now that I realized I am in the frontline of the battle. Flaming arrows are coming from every direction and they are either distracting or slowing me down from the task. I’m not used to sharing my spiritual journey in public because I consider it an intimate portion of my life, neither do I share prayer requests with strangers and I rarely share my deepest prayers with anyone. But now realizing I am in the frontline made me understand I badly and urgently need someone to constantly pray for me, not just me praying for this alone. Sharing this is even difficult for fear that it may offend but God is continually training and teaching me to speak boldly, and reminding me that my allegiance is to Him alone.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Thank you. I greatly appreciate your prayers. God Bless!

This is just a quick note and isn’t part of my weekly blog, I hope to publish this week’s post tomorrow.

God’s Favor and Provision

What a pleasant surprise!

Only 10 days after publishing Uncontainable Musing’s Facebook Page, I got this notification:

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From the very beginning of this ministry, it is the Lord who has planned the content, brings people to contribute, and provides for resources. Everything is covered by God. I don’t know if getting free credit is common in FB Pages, BUT I certainly didn’t expect that God would give me an advertising budget this way and this early! 😂😍 How amazing is the Lord? 😍

So here’s my very first boosted post as seen in FB and IG:

Here’s the second boosted post which would consume the remaining credit:

This serves as a testimony and memory of God’s faithfulness, favor, provision. And this is just the beginning! Weeeeeh! ❤️

For My Eyes Only

Well… It’s entitled that for a reason. I’d appreciate if you’d give me some privacy. Thank you!
I published this only because the Lord wants me to.
But this is “For my eyes only”.

Please exit now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I forgive you if you close this now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

✋ Stop right now. Thank you very much!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

😡

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An Offering to You, My Father . . .

Now again, with this persistent and irresistible desire to share this? Olive, what has gotten into you? Why are you sharing this in public?! Maybe I should’ve called this blog “Intimate Thoughts”. Nah! Some people might get the wrong idea.

Father, I know You have anointed me for this task. This is the purpose of my existence. Though it’s still a mystery to me how You had thought of me before the world began and at the same time didn’t want/planned sin yet I was conceived out of it. How can that be? But whatever it is, I am immensely grateful for having You and knowing You (grateful is even inadequate; I don’t know how to thank You.) And it is for this reason I was born and is alive now: to proclaim Your Name to all the Nations in whatever way You show me.

I want to do whatever You want me to do, Lord; I want to please You and find favor in your eyes. Now I know how it feels to seek approval from a father. Just like a child who would say to her dad, “Daddy look what I did!” “Wow! That’s awesome! Great work, anak.” I bet she’s beaming with happiness because her dad’s approval is her greatest reward. And that is exactly how I feel. Your approval is my greatest reward. I want to please You and constantly feel your presence, to constantly hear Your voice.

I had tried pursuing achievements, knowledge, position, power, money, relevance. But I found everything is only as good as my last performance. So I had to keep on, and on, and on, and on. Until these pursuits had become tiring, repetitive and boring. None is completely satisfying and enjoyable. So I always find myself back to You because You are the only one who fills my heart and completely satisfies me.

At first, I left everything because You said so. But now, I chose to leave everything because I want to for You, by Your grace. I left everything yet I gained more than what I came for. Your ways are so exciting, Lord, You never fail to exceed my expectations. You have given me the opportunity to experience giving myself fully to You: my whole life, my whole being, my whole time, all of my resources (well, technically they’re no longer my resources xD). Everything I know, all of my skills, knowledge, gifts – everything I have or the lack of it I give to You. And I will do it over and over again because I want Your approval and Your favor. And I want to serve the purpose of my existence: to be how You intended me to be and do exactly what You purposed me to do.

I’m in a season of the most enjoyable, fulfilling, satisfying moments in my life because of Your presence. Since the time You told me to write in 2016, I have felt Your constant presence and leading I have never experienced before. Maybe because of the freedom to spend time with You for as long as I want; I don’t know. And even during my lowest moments, while it was painful, it was one of the most fulfilling because of our unceasing communication and Your comforting voice sustaining me. I remember when I was a new believer, I kept on asking You what it’s like to pray unceasingly. That’s Your command but I didn’t know how anyone can do that. More than a decade after, You taught me during the most painful moments of my life. Because of these experiences, my heart is slowly embracing the fact that suffering will always be a part of my life here (will always be talaga?! unending? xD). But I have something to look forward to — an opportunity to be more intimate with You and learn from You from a standpoint of suffering.

At the same time, I know greater things are yet to come! I’m excited about what You’re doing but at the same time getting impatient and tired of waiting because of the cause of delay to this! But remember Your promise, Lord. You promised an abundant harvest and I expect it will be infinitely more than anyone can ask or imagine. Nothing is too difficult for You.

As I do this ministry, help me not to be task/goal-oriented but people-oriented. I don’t want this ministry to be brought down to a mere to-do list. People are more important than tasks. And ministry is for people. My work is not about doing but being — being like You in character as I relate with other people

And in all these, Lord, there is only one thing I ask of You: Your presence. I want to always feel Your presence, hear Your voice, know Your instruction, and be certain of Your leading. What would I do without it? What would I do without You? This is Your work. This is Your mission. You are the authority. And You promised You will ALWAYS be with Your people to the end of the age.

So I offer this to You. This blogsite is Yours. The story of Your people. The testimony of Your character. Your story. We offer this to You.

. . . I hope You are pleased with it. ❤️

Uncontainable Musings now has a Facebook Page!

Uncontainable Musings now has a Facebook Page!

— An IG post that became a blog post — 😂

I want to share this short story. I don’t know why I can’t help it. Maybe I’m just excited for tomorrow. Or maybe I just want to blabber. 😂

I have been stalling from creating an FB page since the resumption of this blog in March because:
1) I still don’t have a logo.
2) I don’t have a cover photo.
3) Though the “brand name: Uncontainable Musings” completely captures the content/nature of the blog and has ‘brand retention’ (I think😂), I’m still having second thoughts about it because it’s a bit of a mouthful and too long for Twitter 😂😭
Brands has to have the same name in all platforms! And once I create an FB page, then I’d have to stick to the name.

But in the last week of June, there was this consistent tug to create an FB page.
“Shhh… I’m not yet ready.”
Then it comes to mind again.
“I still don’t have a logo!” 😭😭
Then again…
“What logo should I use?! And I don’t have a cover photo!” 😭😭

I started to create a trial FB page to know how it works.
“I don’t have a logo and cover photo!” I grumbled.
He reminded me of the banner photo I got the previous week.
💡”Oh yeah! That’s perfect!” 😍
. . . . .
“But what would be the logo? My face?! Nooooo!” 😭😭😭
. . . . .
“And I don’t have a solo picture!” 😭😂

But thinking about accountability over all the information, Biblical authority / religious content, published in this blog which will be shared in a public platform, it makes sense that I put a face on it (literally 😂) especially while it’s still at its birth.

Now after obedience, I saw the wisdom behind it. Especially the timing!
And one important lesson I learned is to always have an updated solo picture. I ran out of photos to recycle! 😂😂

Now two more platforms remaining… 😍😍 Weeeeh! I’m sooo excited! 😄🔥🔥

I love God’s leading, it’s so exciting! Expected yet unexpected. Unreasonable yet very reasonable. 😊❤️

Nagsimula sa Wala

Walang tirahan…
Ipinaubaya ng mga magulang ang lupang pinag-aawayan.
Kung kaya’t minsa’y nakatira sa tabing dagat,
Minsan nama’y sa kabundukan,
At kung minsa’y sa *pinagpapaupahang lupa.

Walang pangkain…
Umiinom lamang ng mainit na tubig malam’nan lang ang t’yan bago pumasok sa eskwela.
Walang pambili ng kendi kung kaya’t namumulot na lamang ng balat nito upang gawing pera-perahan.
Nahulog na bunga ng sampaloc ang mirienda at minsa’y pasalubong sa mga kapatid.
Walang panghandang *suman sa Pasko at mga okasyon, kaya pinag-aari kung ano ang meron.

Walang salapi…
Binabagtas ang eskwelahan mula sa kabundukan nang nakatapak upang hindi madumihan ang tsinelas na gagamitin sa pagpasok.
Init ng araw sa paggamas ay ayaw nang maranasan kung kaya’t pursigido sa pagsusumikap na makapagtapos.
Hindi umasa o sinisi ang mga magulang na walang pangbayad sa matrikula, bagkus ay nagsumigasig na itaguyod ang sarili.

Nakipagsapalaran sa Maynila…
Nilisan ang probinsyang kinalakihan upang makahanap ng trabaho at makapag-aral sa kolehiyo.
Nagtrabaho sa lahat ng maaaring pasukan.
Mananahi sa umaga at estudyante sa gabi.
Araw-araw nilalabhan ang nag-iisang uniporme.
Nagtatago sa mga kaklase na nagyayayang kumain,
At lumalagi sa silid-aklatan kapag breaktime dahil walang pambili ng pagkain.
May ilang semestre na kinailangang tumigil upang mag-ipon ng pangmatrikula ngunit hindi kinalimutan ang layunin na makapagtapos.
Kahit inabot ng walong taon sa kolehiyo ay hindi alintana ang layo ng edad sa mga kaklase.

Sa kabila ng lahat…
Ang Diyos ay marunong.
Marahil ay hindi na lumuwas ng Maynila kung mayroon nang pagmamay-aring lupa sa probinsya.
Marahil ay hindi na nagpursiging makapagtapos kung hindi nangarap ng mas maalwang buhay.
Marahil ay hindi na nagsumikap at nagpunyagi kung hindi naranasan ang matinding hirap.

Jovita Fayen Recella-Perez; graduation picture, UST, University of Santo Tomas
Tanda ng naabot na pangarap.

Sa awa ng Diyos, nagbunga ang lahat ng pagtitiis, paghihirap at pagsusumikap.
Kung tutuusin ay hindi nagsimula sa wala, dahil simula’t sapul ay baon ang pangarap na makapagtapos ng pag-aaral at kalakip nito ang hindi matatawarang determinasyon, pagpupunyagi, sipag at tiyaga na hindi bumitiw sa adhikain.
Sa pagpapala ng Diyos, dininig ang mga panalangin at naabot ang mga pangarap.

*pinagpapaupahang lupa – lugar na pansamantalang pinagtatrabahuhan (hal. lupang sinasakahan)
*suman – ang pangunahing handa kapag may okasyon sa probinsya.

…let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1b-3)

Proper Perspective: Seeing Things as They Are

Romans 8:28, everything work together for the good, love God, His purpose, God's purpose, anawangin cove, nagsasa cove, cove, beach, sea, blue sea, sand, white sand, mountain, mountain and sea, Zambales, Philippines, more fun in the philippines
Anawangin, Zambales, Philippines | April 2010

ref, refrigerator, fridge, kelvinator, white fridge, black fridge, small fridgeTuesday was the last time I saw this fridge in our house.  It will be shipped to Marinduque, my Mom’s province, in few a days and I guess I am feeling a bit sentimental about it.

This fridge had been a reminder for me of the time I lived independently. (Well, not totally independent because I was with my sister. I think my family couldn’t just let me live completely alone so my sister had to come with me and I also preferred it that way.) It evoked a lot of memories and realizations.

It was in February 2009 when I decided to live separately from my family. The event that led to that decision was a sibling conflict. I slept at my friend’s house for a week and finally decided that I was not yet ready to go back home. Looking back, it’s funny to think that at 24 I ran away from home. Not like a typical teenage runaway, huh?

My sister and I chose a newly constructed apartment two blocks away from my family’s. I knew I would miss them soon and hoped the tension would shortly subside. I also wanted my sister to see them anytime she wanted.

When we moved to that new place, I was so excited about buying stuff and checking the items on my shopping list that I didn’t notice I filled the apartment too quickly. We had all the essentials in less than two months and this fridge was one of those. When I received my card bill on the fourth month, I was surprised!

“I thought everything was at 0% installment?!” I asked looking at the total amount due.
“They were… and they all piled up…” I answered back as I reviewed the transactions.

I miscalculated my purchases. The accumulated installment amount for the succeeding months were more than I could handle and that’s not including rent and other expenses. But the Lord saw us through. I was able to pay the statement balance month-on-month just like before. How? The Lord made it possible.

This is one of the many occasions the Lord taught me that the last thing I should worry about is provision. In fact, He commanded us not to worry or be anxious about anything but in every situation – pray (Philippians 4:6-7; Matthew 6:25-34). He made me realize that we were able to make both ends meet not because my mom is resourceful or because I have a good paying job but only because He is our provider.

It was also during this time when the Lord opened my eyes and gave me a proper perspective about my brother. He seemed tough and stubborn on the outside. I thought he never listened and would deliberately do the opposite of what I said, and this always provoked me.

One night, when they visited us in our apartment, I noticed something I never knew before: a comment that was meant to be a constructive criticism disheartened him. I further observed and realized that he is in fact vulnerable to everything we say and do. This broke my heart. I was too harsh and unloving wanting to break what I thought to be his impenetrable shell not knowing that I was already crushing him. How could I be so blind?

As much as I want to undo the negative effects of all I did, I cannot change the past. I am just grateful that the Lord revealed this truth to correct me. I can only hope and pray that the Lord would eventually heal all the pain I have caused him, and that He will also call my whole family to Himself and enjoy Him forever.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”